I'm Glad These Are Her Worst (Top 5 Worst Jennifer Lopez Singles)

I feel as though I'm preparing for a marathon...a marathon of LOVE that is! 2 weeks counting down until Jennifer Lopez releases her album Love?. To commemorate this event, here is the first blog posting:

Isn't she gorgeous?!!!

Jennifer Lopez is my Madonna, my Barbara, my Liza. In my eyes she can do no wrong, she's unstoppable! But then I have to face reality that she has had her flaws in the past. Here is my quick list of the worst singles she’s come out with. Forgive me J.Lo…

5.) “Louboutins”

(originally from the album Love?...but taken off the final tracklisting)

This was just awkward and messy all over. It didn’t break any new ground. It was here that Jenny took 5 steps backward from the direction she was going before. There was no video released, and the song didn’t chart anywhere really. Not to mention that soon after the poor reception, she was dropped from Epic Records. And let's not forget when she fell at the American Music Awards...

4.) “Hold You Down” (featuring Fat Joe)

(from the album Rebirth)

Maybe if she had released “Step Into My World” or “I Got U” as the follow up single to “Get Right” the album might have had a little more success than it did (although it is one of my least favorite albums of hers). It’s the choice to release this as the second single that makes it one of the worst in my eyes. The reunion of Jen and Fat Joe sounds like a good idea, but it felt more like they were trying to recreate the magic and success of “All I Have”, and they failed miserably.

3.) “I’m Glad”

(from the album This Is Me…Then)

My favorite album of hers, but certainly not my favorite song. It’s the lyrics that kills it for me. They're cheesy, corny, and don’t make sense in a lot of ways. It’s almost like a 3^rd grader wrote this song for her, but I will say the tribute to Flashdance in the video made it better, just a little bit.

2.) “Alive”

(from the album J to tha L-O! The Remixes)

The corniest song J.Lo ever had. It didn’t really help out her movie Enough, I think it only made things worse. She’s not meant to sing big ballads like this, especially when there’s really no personal connection to what she’s singing. But please skip ahead to the 3:00 mark, and enjoy my favorite facial expression of hers! (Marissa knows what I'm talking about)

               

1.) “Fresh Out The Oven” (featuring Pitbull)

(originally from the album Love?...but taken off the final tracklisting)

I get what they were trying to do: release a sexy buzz single that sounds like nothing she’s done in the past, trying to spark some mysterious interest in her new album. It is a sexy beat, and it has its moments. But this really showcases how weak of a voice she has. There are lots of cringing moments throughout. And if it was to raise interest in her album, it’s easy to see why she was dropped from the label and why the album has taken so long to get released...

BUT...and this is a big one of course since it is Jennifer Lopez: now that this is out of the way, be prepared next week when I put out my favorite singles list, followed by a day-by-day countdown of her albums from worst to best, all leading up to Tuesday, May 3! (that's her album release people...KEEP UP!)

We Can Stop Believin' in These GLEE Covers! (The Top 10 Worst)

As we get ready to come back from yet another Glee hiatus next week, I decided to jump on the bandwagon and release my very own favorites list, but this first list is deliciously awful. Here are my choices for the top 10 WORST Glee covers from the first season.

10.) “No Air”

(from the episode Throw Down)

The premise of the episode was there, a battle between the whites and all the other races. With Mercedes leading the way with her powerful cover of Jill Scott’s “Hate On Me”, it was time for the white folks to show us how it’s done. Instead they give us a terrible rendition of this sweet pop song from before Chris Brown was a woman-beater. This is also where I started to get sick of the Rachel/Finn duets. The auto-tune didn’t help Finn out one bit!

9.) “Can’t Fight This Feeling”

(from the episode Pilot)

Granted, the version of this song most people hear now is the recorded one in the studio from Glee’s first compilation album, but it still doesn’t improve on the original a capella version Finn sings in the shower for the first time. I’ve never really been a big Finn fan as far as singing is concerned, and yes he has improved quite a bit since this cover. But unfortunately it doesn’t give enough reason to keep him off this list. You have better moments Finn, let’s just move forward.

8.) “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”

(from the episode Throw Down)

Here it is the first of three Quinn songs on the show. I guess it’s safe to say that I’m also not a very big Quinn fan with singing either. That’s not to say that I don’t love her on the show. She’s deliciously evil when she wants to be, but sweet and vulnerable when she needs to be. This cover came at a time when she was dealing with her pregnancy out in the open, putting her love life and cheerleading career right on the line. And while the song choice doesn’t exactly fit the storyline extremely well, that’s not the worst part. Some people can get away with the weak, whisper-like singing, but I find myself cringing ALMOST every time Quinn belts it out (when she duets with Sam in season 2 with “I’ve Had The Time Of My Life”, she didn’t do half bad).

7.) “I Say A Little Prayer”

(from the episode Showmance)

Back to back Quinn songs! This one was just all over the place for me. Quinn is trying to audition with a wholesome song to get into Glee Club in order to take back her man and help Sue bring down the team along the way. It would be a genius cover with the background vocals alone. The big booming gospel voices coming from Santana & Brittany is what gives it potential to be one of the more memorable covers, but sadly Quinn’s whisper voice and awkward high notes get in the way.

6.) “Good Vibrations”

(from the episode Funk)

Not even Mercedes could save this one, and we know she certainly does her best. This is the second most awkward and pointless episode of the season that showed us all that the theme episodes were going a little too far, and getting old quick! The rapping on the show worked in the beginning with “Gold Digger” and “Push It”, but it got old as soon as soon as “Bust a Move” came along. This was just an awkward moment, especially with Finn and all his awkward dancing adding fuel to the fire.

5.) “Ice Ice Baby”

(from the episode Bad Reputation)

Here comes the end of Mr. Schuster’s rapping reign…AT LAST! What started out as cute and interesting turned into a big annoyance by the second rap song he was in. This was another great chance to showcase his insane dance moves, but it couldn’t save the cheesiness of him rapping (to Vanilla Ice of all people)!

4.) “Loser”

(from the episode Funk)

All I’ll say is this: why? What was the point? Beck is really considered a funk artist? End of story.

3.) “Smile [Lily Allen Cover]”

(from the episode Mattress)

This is a great example of trying to fix something that wasn’t broken in the first place. Lily Allen’s signature voice (with the accent and all) is what makes it a great song to begin with. What made it awful was giving it to Rachel, attempting to use some kind of accent. Not to mention that the song is about a cruel girl smiling at her ex’s misfortune, but in the episode wasn’t she trying to teach a lesson about smiling for the cameras? Just because it’s called “Smile” doesn’t mean it works that way.

2.) “Thong Song”

(from the episode Mash Up)

Coach Tenaka was always ridiculous, but really? He wants his first dance at his wedding to be the “Thong Song”? And then to add insult to injury, you put Emma in the biggest poof of a dress, plus just mixing in Will and his corny rapping again, it had all the makings of the worst moment in Glee’s first season, until…

1.) “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World”

(from the episode Funk)

…along comes Quinn again, pregnant and all, trying to bring her A-game. Unfortunately, this brings more Z's than A's if ya know what I'm sayin'! I get what they were trying to do with the pregnant choreography. I felt like I needed to start taking lamas classes just to get through this one. And if you thought Quinn’s voice wasn’t good before, just wait until those really piercing moments when she tries to pull a Christina/Mariah moment and ends up sounding like Roseanne Barr singing the National Anthem. Luckily they cut back on giving her solos in the second season.

Oops!...She Shouldn't Do These Again! (Britney Spears' Worst Singles)

I found it very hard to find 5 bad singles from Ms. Britney, as there is really only one I can’t stand. But I did my best to come up with the “not so good” list.

5.) “Me Against the Music”

(from the album In The Zone)

Compared to her other first single choices, this one doesn’t stand out as one of the most memorable. Madonna’s contribution sounded like a great idea, but it didn’t really live up to the hype of the infamous kiss at the VMA’s that they shared prior to this release.

4.) “Oops!...I Did It Again”

(from the album Oops!...I Did It Again)

A guilty pleasure song from a guilty pleasure album, but there’s one thing that makes it one of the worst for me. That one thing is her obnoxious dialogue towards the end. “But I thought the old lady dropped it into in the ocean in the end?” Cheesy to the MAX!

3.) “From The Bottom of My Broken Heart”

(from the album Baby One More Time)

This made it onto the list because its one of the more unknown songs she’s released, and sad to say that it’s one of the most forgettable.

2.) “Lucky”

(from the album Oops!...I Did It Again)

A pure pop song that is one of the more corny ones coming from Ms. Britney Spears. It’s the tale of a superstar named Lucky, not feeling too good about her fame because she “cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart” every night. A signature Britney song, but for all the wrong reasons.

               

1.) “I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman”

(from the album Britney)

Here it is, the most annoying Britney song in my opinion. If you’re not a girl, but not yet a woman, then what the hell are you?!! It was a confusing metaphor, one that only served the purpose to be the theme of her film debut in Crossroads, something else I’ve forgiven her for because it actually isn’t as bad as Mariah’s Glitter. But still, this song was just unnecessary. And having an artist like Dido claim a songwriting credit was pretty sad too.